She woke up in a pool of blood in a hotel room alone. Get ready to cry and be inspired by this episode. Kristen walks us through a miscarriage, and a rare condition called a subchorionic hemorrage click for more information. She moved at 7 months pregnant, switched providers, and had a very long labor. There are a lot of lessons in her labor and she shares a ton of details to help you on your journey. Kristen's favorite baby product is the QuickZip crib sheet. Click HERE to learn more about QuickZip. Use the code BIRTHSTORYPODCAST to receive 15% off your first order.
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BIRTH STORY PODCAST SHOWNOTES: Birth Story Podcast
4 Meet Kristen Miscarriage- Subchorionic Hemmorage & Long First Labor-Host MyDoulaHeidi - Birth Story Podcast -
[00:00:00] What does a contraction feel like how do I know if I'm in labor? And what does a day of Labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell a certified birth Doula host of this podcast birth story and owner of my Doula Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries and I.
[00:00:29] Give that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are listen each week to get answers to these tough questions and more first story where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries where we tell our stories share our feelings and of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood and because I'm passionate about birth outcomes.
[00:00:55] You will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery whether you. [00:01:00] Pregnant trying desperately to get pregnant. I hope you will stick around and be part of this tribe episode 4. All right today. I am interviewing a total stranger from our local Mom to Mom board named Kristen and this story went somewhere.
[00:01:20] I was not expecting in full disclosure. I actually had to go back and edit a part out because. Man, she just got real with me and it's just amazing and I hope that you enjoy everything about this woman and her birth story.
[00:01:43] Hey everyone. It is Heidi with birth story podcast and I'm here with Kristen Smith to hear about her to birth. So hey Kristen, hi there. So just to get started tell us a little bit about like who you are your family. You [00:02:00] know what you want the audience to know about you, okay? Should I say my age I fight on now.
[00:02:06] Okay, I'm 34. I think. Yes, then you should definitely say your age. Yes. I'm 34. I'm a native Charlotte Ian. So I was born in Presbyterian hospital and 80s. I am I have an older brother. He also lives here too. My parents are in town. So we've got you know one big happy family here. I met my husband in college and he is from Pennsylvania.
[00:02:36] We lived there for five years. And when I was seven months pregnant with my first we moved back to Charlotte for work and just to be closer to grandparents. We could probably do a whole podcast on like moving while seven months pregnant. It was insane. This was with your first child. Yeah to yeah, I so it was easy in the sense that I didn't have a baby or a toddler yet to look [00:03:00] after but.
[00:03:02] I would pack for an hour and be exhausted, you know and have to sit down for another hour. Yeah, I'm so we had a lot of help from family members that lived up there helping us get packed up and all that kind of thing, but it was stressful but. It was okay. So how about like the other like six months about month 7 you said you were getting ready to move to Charlotte, but like I want to know like, how did you have a fertility Journey?
[00:03:28] Did you get pregnant right away? Like how did your pregnancy go? Okay, when we were married about a year, I went off the pill and it was not to get pregnant. It was to just let the hormones balanced out. You know, I've been on the pill since. I don't even remember how old sad so did your doctor advise you to do that or is that something you would read about?
[00:03:53] I at the time with seeing a I don't want to say a naturopath but chiropractor, but it was more than a [00:04:00] chiropractor as more like a wellness type doctor. Okay that also did Chiropractic in the practice. And so I would just wanted to be healthy. I wanted to feel good. So went off the pill. That summer we haven't been trying but we had a surprise pregnancy.
[00:04:18] Okay. That was I was terrified. We hadn't even talked about kids yet and I was afraid I didn't know you know, I we were not ready. We were not ready and and I told my husband I was expecting for him to be upset and no complete opposite. He was so loving he. Just saying this is great. You know, it's going to be fine.
[00:04:43] We have other friends who are having kids. Now, it's going to be fine. This is all going to be fine. This is all you know, this is great. We're having a baby, you know, so, how old is your oldest right now? He's five. Okay, so you came off the pill and you had an unexpected pregnancy, but your husband was like really [00:05:00] excited.
[00:05:00] Yes. It was so sweet and I was terrified and he was okay, which is usually the opposite of our. How we usually react to things? So it was a pleasant experience to tell him that so we went in for the first appointment at I don't know seven or eight weeks at the time. I was traveling a lot for work too.
[00:05:18] So like trying to squeeze in the appointment and all of this was a little bit of shuffling so we go in and. You know, you're definitely pregnant you're about seven weeks along. Let's do the ultrasound we go to the ultrasound and there's a baby and there's a heartbeat but it was like in the mid-80s and I mean you probably know more about that's a very low heart rate you think yeah, and so it's so the doctors I think prepared us for a loss but you know, the baby was still there and there was a heartbeat and there was you know, so that was tough it was.
[00:05:57] I wasn't expecting that and I [00:06:00] at that point we hadn't known family members or even friends that had had miscarriages that we knew about, you know, so this was kind of weird. We weren't prepared for this at all. Had you already shared with your fam all your family and friends that you were pregnant?
[00:06:17] No, okay. Now we hadn't told anybody and so. We are planning to tell them Labor Day. So this was like August. So we were a couple weeks away from getting to like that point, you know where you're supposed to tell people I guess in quotes so we didn't have much bleeding just a little spotting but nothing.
[00:06:39] Significant and we went back maybe a week or two later the dates. It's blurry now. It's been a couple years and a lots happened since then so we go back and they just like put the wand in and there was no heartbeat and it was very obvious. And so when you were spotting like a couple days before like did [00:07:00] you kind of feel or have an instinct like that?
[00:07:02] Maybe you are miscarrying it was the spotting was. It didn't make me feel any kind of way. Honestly, it was it was nervous nerve-racking because you know, the the what you learn in 5th grade health class they tell you don't get your period when you're pregnant, you know, and so it was scary. But at the same time it just there's nothing you can do.
[00:07:24] Yeah, there's nothing you can do. So we ended up we did the DNC the next day. And it was emotional and I at that point I had by this time. I had told my mom and I think I told my best friend and we had told some of our local family members. So who went with you to the DNC? My husband? Okay, just him.
[00:07:44] Yeah, so he took good care of me and it was emotional but it was all right, we made it through and I rested and and all that. So after that even though we weren't we hadn't like had this big conversation like. [00:08:00] You know because it was a surprise pregnancy, so it kind of took us off off guard. But after that it was kind of like both of us decided like the only thing that's going to heal our hearts is to.
[00:08:12] Try again. Yeah, you know and but it was scary your first pregnancy ending in miscarriage is kind of daunting, you know, nobody prepares you for that no, and at that point afterward, we heard, you know, grandparents or parents or friends that had you know had miscarriages after we shared our story with a couple of people and that makes you feel a little better.
[00:08:31] I think you sharing the story right now is going to comfort a lot of people that are listening. Yeah, so. We tried again for six or seven months and didn't have anything and I was at my Wit's End, you know, I was like I got accidentally pregnant before why can't we do it again on purpose and just as I was like about to make an appointment with the doctor and say.
[00:08:57] What's up with this? You know [00:09:00] we found out that I was pregnant again. So did you just miss your period or did you feel a certain way? How did you like what kind of clued you in that you were pregnant? The first was the. Tingling in the boobies. Okay. Can I say that? Yeah, it's an explicit but guys.
[00:09:16] Yeah, so like very different than just like your normal period I never I never had that sensation during periods. It wasn't a symptom of mine. So that's a really obvious symptom. Yeah, so I was like hmm, you know light bulb went off. This could be something and then pretty much the day after I missed my period because I was very regular I knew yeah, you know, so I.
[00:09:40] I took the test and it was positive and that was that yeah. Okay. So were you with your husband when he took the test? Yes, we were both home. I don't even know if I told him if I was gonna take it or not. Okay, but we have been trying so it won't you know, it wasn't a total surprise. So yeah, I [00:10:00] ran downstairs and he was watching football or golf or something and I told him.
[00:10:04] He didn't have that great of a reaction the second time. I think he was scared. Yeah and nervous and he was like, well, we'll see. What happens the next couple weeks? Yeah, so yeah, I'm just like feel as hard as you say that yeah, that's so hard. So that was hard but we went to the doctor again and we saw a better heartbeat.
[00:10:25] I forget what it was but it was in the 100. Yeah, it was 130 to 160 was probably around and I'm sure I have it written down somewhere. And so we still didn't tell anyone. This was let's see. February March of what year 2013? Okay. Hmm. So this is kind of crazy. So we again I was traveling for work.
[00:10:49] I was working for a corporate bank and commercial lending doing auditing. So I we lived in Pittsburgh at the time. So I was traveling all around to Ohio, Kentucky Michigan all [00:11:00] these places. So I was actually in Cleveland this week. Working on an audit and staying in a hotel and I went to bed. I was about 10 or 11 weeks and I was super nauseous during this pregnancy.
[00:11:15] Okay, which is super normal. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean it got to the point and like throwing up or just the feeling of nausea. No throwing up them. Like I wanted to you know, it's there but it was just like so heavy it was like all you can think about didn't know what to do about it. And honestly, I was so sick that I.
[00:11:34] Got to the point that I wish I wasn't pregnant because I was so sick. Yeah, I don't know if anybody hearing it too though, but it was a dark place. Yeah, it is such a normal feeling. I'll just share with you right now. I had heart palpitations like I developed like PVCs and like fainting spells how not to scare everybody that's out there.
[00:11:54] But I remember thinking like I want to live. Yeah, I want to live. I had moments where I was like I want [00:12:00] to live more than I want to be a mom and I would have like horrible guilt. Yeah, but I think that I'm glad we're having this conversation because I think there's a lot of moms out there that will have had those moments where you are.
[00:12:12] So sick just like when you have the flu, you're like I would do anything to make this go away, right, you know, and then we feel better. And then we just let those railings great. So that was like a hard thing you were alone in the hotel room alone this hotel room. I'm so like nauseous. I still have to work, you know, whatever.
[00:12:31] So and you were just thinking I just need it all to go away. Yeah, literally that night. I'm gonna Double Tree in Cleveland, Ohio and I go to bed I wake up in a pool of blood like. Looked like a murder scene all over the bed ran to the bathroom. It's like midnight or one o'clock and I go to the is this.
[00:12:55] This kind of gross own. Okay, you're probably gonna get weirder. This [00:13:00] podcast is about education through storytelling and it is explicit and it's here to teach I say like when we were talking about this podcast like we're going to cry together. We're going to laugh together or going to learn together.
[00:13:14] Okay, but we want to hear it all because. Like all the things that were talking about and like you said when you had your first miscarriage and like no one had talked about it like this podcast in this conversation, like hopefully this is just one more step towards opening up these conversations so that work ends parent and we help other people so that when they wake up in a hotel room in a pool of blood that they know what the next steps might be.
[00:13:42] Yeah, so, Again, not prepared for this at all, and I had had spotting but it was more spotting than when I miscarried. This is before sorry. I'm going back. That's okay. I think our readers are tracking. I'm tracking with our readers listening. I mean our listeners are dragged. Okay, so and I so [00:14:00] I had more spotting with this but again, nothing you can do and I had gone in for several ultrasounds and everything had been, you know, the heartbeat was fine, and there wasn't any you know, I don't know.
[00:14:13] Placenta issues at this point or anything. So I was more confident even with the spotting but I woke up in this pull a lot. I mean it was bad. It was a it was so I run to the bathroom and I've got my cell phone and I'm like pulling my pants down to sit on the toilet because stuff was coming out and I pass these huge clots.
[00:14:36] Like size of my hand and at this point, I'm only 10 weeks pregnant. So there was one that was the size of my hand and there was one that was about the size of an egg. Now, how are you feeling where you dizzy? Where you lightheaded? Do you remember feeling or were you just feeling scared just panicked Panic took panicked?
[00:14:52] I had my phone. Coincidentally, my husband was in Charlotte at my parents house because he was on a [00:15:00] golf trip and he was passing through he had been in Hilton Head and his passing through Charlotte and is going to come home the next day. So I called him. He didn't answer the middle of the night. I called the house phone at my parents house in which they don't even have anymore and was probably screaming and my mom answered and I just said Mom.
[00:15:22] I lost the baby like my baby came out of me, you know, it was very very hard. My baby's on the floor. I was just screaming like babies on the floor my babies on the floor and she's screaming. She's you know, I don't know what to do. You know. I'm so sorry, so I didn't know what to do. So all of this has happened all this mess was made and I ran to the phone in the hotel room and dialed up the.
[00:15:51] Front desk I guess because I didn't know what to do. And I don't even remember this woman's name, but it was like [00:16:00] having sent angel. She answered the phone and I said, hey, you know, my name is Kristen imerman room, whatever. I am like early pregnancy, you know first trimester, but I think I've just miscarried and there's a huge mess in the room.
[00:16:14] And I also don't know what's happening. I thought it was hemorrhaging. Yeah, you know, I thought I didn't know what was happening at all. You know, I need help and I am here from out of town. I don't know anything. So she was like, okay, hang on. I'm going to call you an ambulance. Everything's going to be.
[00:16:31] Okay. Yeah, you know, you know, we're just going to like. Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry about the hotel room every you know, yeah all this stuff. So then the firemen cub and the ambulance come and I like such a mom already by the way being worried about the hotel. Yes. I know. I know you are having a trauma.
[00:16:50] Yeah. Yeah, and so, you know the Medics come and it's just like in this is this might like prepare you for delivery and stuff because it's just. [00:17:00] Yes, no modesty right at all. I'm just like pantless. Yeah bleeding and it's horrible and there's nothing again. Nothing you can do about it. So the Medics came and they put me on the stretcher and I grabbed my bag and they I'm in Cleveland.
[00:17:18] So we go to a Cleveland Clinic hospital that's close by and you know, it's probably 10 minutes my heart for my hotel, but I don't know where I am so I could have driven myself probably but I also thought I was. Losing blood and all the stuff. I think everyone listening would of also called and I would have died wouldn't have even caught the front desk.
[00:17:36] Yes, very calm of you. I don't even know what I was like, I think I would have called 9-1-1, you know, I'm gonna hotel room somewhere. Yeah. So yes of the the front desk called for me so they showed up and then Medics gathered up what had come out of me and for getting in the ambulance and the guy says, I don't think that's your baby.
[00:17:58] You know, and [00:18:00] I said no it is I said, you know, I have been through this before, you know, I know it is like I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but it's over, you know, and I can't have kids so he's like no, I really don't think it is. But you know, we'll take it to the hospital and the doctors will look at it and you'll check you out.
[00:18:22] You know, everything's gonna be okay, so we get there and they give me into a room and you know time goes by and the ultrasound people will their cart into my emergency room stall I guess. She puts the ultrasound I think goes on my belly at this point again about 10 or 11 weeks along and there's my baby like this craved floating around, you know, you got two arms and two legs and a head and you can you know, just literally bouncing Kristen.
[00:18:56] I didn't know where you were going with this story, but I am like [00:19:00] rejoicing with you right now. It was insane. It was the most it was the most. Darkest Place into the most relief you've ever felt in your life. So you're so now you're laying there, but you can actually see your baby. Yeah, but I just like new was like God.
[00:19:17] Oh my God. Oh God. I know I know. So crazy and of course like every five minutes my my parents are calling my husband's calling, you know, they're they're crying and I parents kitchen, you know all the stuff. My dad says shoot. I already told people, you know thinking yeah, just so excited and the gun down.
[00:19:35] I'm so excited. So what had happened was I had a sub chorionic Hemorrhage. Yes, which from what I understand and correct me if I'm wrong is. Blood pools between the placenta and the uterus wall. That's exactly the definition. Okay? Yes. I have a client right now who had this exact same story? Okay, she's due January 29th.
[00:19:58] Oh my gosh. So close. [00:20:00] Yeah, so exciting. So yeah, so and it was a large one from what you know, I think relatively large. So that's what you had clocked that were from the size of your hand. Yeah. So when you were telling this story I was hoping that this is where you were going with that because I do know for anyone that's listening like this is a possibility not to get everyone's hopes up that they.
[00:20:26] Well have you know the miracle of not losing their child but it is possible to have that Hemorrhage between the uterine wall in the placenta. And then from my experiences is that it heals on its own over the course of the pregnancy. So how did yours do that? So tell me about like did you bleed again or not to that extent and the other thing to really quick with the spotting in the bleeding?
[00:20:55] I was also told early in this pregnancy that spotting was [00:21:00] totally normal because the cervix becomes more vascular and there's just more blood vessels and stuff down there. And so anytime he gets irritated like AK having sex having packs bowel movement. Yep free have to push anything like that from what I understand can just irritate a little bit and you might see a little pink or a little red, you know when you wipe or in a little panty liner, but.
[00:21:24] Totally normal. Yeah, so thank you for reminding us. Yeah of that because not everybody has that but a lot of people do but if a blood clot is coming out of you. That's it. So scary. Yes. Yeah, so I didn't have another event like that. So, of course my husband flew up. He literally booked a flight at midnight that night.
[00:21:41] I was on a plane at 5 a.m. And to come get me. I mean, I was only a couple hours from where we lived but I was just so shaken up. I'm literally pantless in the hotel and then you get discharged. So, how long did you have to stay in the hospital five hours six hours? Okay, and by the time I was ready, I think they let me say a couple [00:22:00] extra hours until my husband got there to take me home.
[00:22:03] So he got there. Well, I'm just curious really quick when you're in the hospital. Do they give you IV fluids or anything to stop the bleeding or is it just monitoring, you know just monitoring. So just a natural occurrence that your body is like going through they just monitor you and then send.
[00:22:18] Yeah, and once those clots came out. That was it. There was no more bleeding or anything no more clots. It was just. Weird thing that happens, I guess you are still in your first trimester. Yes. So what I understand from this condition two is that it's very common in the first trimester, I think so and so the next day we drive home the next day we go to see my OB and she said she told me the size of it.
[00:22:45] I forget what it is 20 centimeters or something and she said what is going to happen is as your baby grows and your uterus gets bigger and there's more. This probably is the right word. But more tension in there are more things are [00:23:00] fighting first day at work. I don't know any of those will be pushed out and there won't be any room between the placenta and the uterus anymore to gather whole blood.
[00:23:10] Yeah, I don't him. So she said about when you're about 20 weeks these things just kind of go away. So she's like I don't and she was totally right like I didn't have any other instances. Or that I thought during that so yeah, okay was no emotional and crazy now, we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you and we'll be right back with our guest.
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[00:25:13] So with the rest of your pregnancy, like uneventful or animove. Yes, okay, the movement seven months, but other than that like blood pressure is like you felt good. Did the nausea subside? Yeah about 15 weeks about 15 weeks. Okay. And did you ever have to take a medicine for the nausea? No, not for this pregnancy.
[00:25:32] Okay, so it's seven months. You moved to Charlotte. Yes. I'm sure did you unpack your boxes? I had a lot of help my mom helped me a lot and a lot of our stuff was went into storage because we were we were living we moved into a townhome a before my house into a town home knowing that we would buy a house at some point being so Pregnant like we just had to get like the first thing I could find that was.
[00:26:00] [00:26:00] Yes good, so. We had a little less stuff. Yeah after we moved so that was nice. So we have we got all settled. I finally could decorate the nursery because I knew we were moving so I couldn't really like buy anything yet. So that was fun, you know all this fun stuff. Yeah got to happen. Once we moved we shopped for nursery furniture.
[00:26:19] And did you have a baby shower here in Charlotte? Yes, okay couple baby showers a we had a big gender reveal before we moved. So I knew we were having okay with the first not with the second. So yeah, we were so excited. We were so ready. We were having a boy with the first boy in the family on either side.
[00:26:38] So that was kind of fun for the Aryan Perry, even if it was a girl it would have been exciting to I'm biased to boys because I feel my love boys. Okay, so we get settled in our house. Of course. We have a new provider. I'm well into the third trimester. So, you know, you've got your appointments [00:27:00] often and again like nothing substantial going on in the pregnancy just your normal checkups glucose test that kind of thing.
[00:27:09] So, yeah, so everything's healthy. So did you take any childbirth education classes or hire a doula? So. Was interested in unmedicated birth, but I wasn't committed to it. Okay, if that makes sense that makes absolutes. I wanted to dabble. So like I read Ina may I read another book? I can't remember what it is.
[00:27:30] Sorry. I wanted to be prepared for any scenario. I'm so we took this class it was taught by a doula and there were other duels in the class like in training I think okay. It was at a person or that I don't think. Open anymore, but it was a great class. It was a Lamaze class, which. was more than just your so you learned how to breathe learned how to breathe.
[00:27:56] There were a lot of people in the class actually having home births [00:28:00] planning for home births or birth center births, and I think actually the fact that we were planning on a hospital birth. We were. A rare there were only a couple of us in the class. I think the people in the class or maybe more committed to an unmedicated birth than we were but I just wanted to be prepared and I also wanted my husband to feel comfortable with words like vagina.
[00:28:24] Yeah or cervix or dilation or just all of that kind of Levi - Oh, yeah. I wanted him and to also understand like the different stages of labor and stuff because I knew he wouldn't read the book and while he did. It's not about going to these classes on Sundays and fall AKA football time. Yes, he did go.
[00:28:45] Good for her. Yeah, there are like four Sunday's you know, so it wasn't like the Bradley method Birds 12 weeks because he wouldn't have done that and more power to the men that do that because I think that is so Noble and awesome. And that's amazing. Nama hasn't just not one of [00:29:00] them. So the fact that he was able to go to these classes was pretty good again, like with the Comfort level for him to so it was.
[00:29:10] It was very good. So you did you feel prepared for your birth by the time you were starting to have like the signs and symptoms of Labor. Yes. Okay. Yes. Do you write a birth plan or did you have a birth plan? I did not write it. I had it in my head. And also my mom was planning on acting as our Doula so we didn't hire one but my mom was like all in yeah wanted to be there and we wanted her there.
[00:29:36] I think Mom's make wonderful doulas. Yeah. She was great. Yeah because I was whole concept is to have someone to support you like Doula just means woman servant or woman caregiver. That's so whether it's like your sister or your mom or if. Was two people are not available or your best friend then then there are trained doulas, right?
[00:29:57] Oh, but it's so wonderful. So [00:30:00] let's talk about like the last couple of weeks or the last week like leading up to your birth. Like how are you feeling? I was feeling good. I was active we lived in a neighborhood that had Trails so I would walk. At least a mile or two every day. We have a dog. So that was a good excuse to get outside.
[00:30:20] It was November. So it was gorgeous. Shell. Yeah, it was cool and Crisp And like I still had the AC running. Yeah from those hot but yeah, no blood pressure. Nope, you know preeclampsia things or anything. So I was feeling very good. We were ready. Yeah, so then how did it happen? So. Let's see, we had just watched a show it was a Sunday night.
[00:30:49] I was 39 weeks and 3 days. Okay, and we'd like just turn the TV off to go to bed on Sunday and I felt like a [00:31:00] tightening and I hadn't had Braxton Hicks that I knew of at least. Throughout the whole pregnancy. So it was like a little bit painful. So I was like, oh, maybe this is it and so of course like immediately my senses are heightened ten minutes later on the second another like another yeah tight little bit of a painful tightening 10 minutes later another one and it was like, oh my God, I'm going into labor.
[00:31:28] This is so great. And I just knew it was it but I knew also knew it was early labor. Because of the class and again, I wasn't committed to a natural labor, but I wasn't like a die-hard epidural. Like I have to have it. I was a kind of like like a let's see what happens. Okay, you know, I think it's a great attitude to have so I don't want to feel guilty if I got one and I didn't want to feel pressured into not having one because I made a decision before I knew anything was going to be like, so let's [00:32:00] see.
[00:32:02] Yep, contractions started around 10 o'clock on a Sunday night. And so I tried to lay there but I was just excited and the adrenaline that starting to go and I let my husband sleep. I don't know if he did or not. I think he did but I because of the class I was prepared to labor at home for a long time.
[00:32:23] We had the puzzles out. We had the birth ball ready that I'd already been sitting on for weeks. You know, I always. Ready, I knew what to do. So I go downstairs and I unload the dishwasher and I just kind of tidy up the kitchen a little bit and just try to stay busy. Were you timing contractions or were you just letting it happen?
[00:32:42] I was no I was timing them on whatever app I had on my phone. Okay, so and they were regular and they weren't stopping because I knew to get up and do something and if they stopped then it wasn't labor of course, but they never stopped and it got to be the middle of the night and. [00:33:00] It's always the middle of the night when you're already turned out like I'd already been awake all day, you know poor uh, sleep or moms and like why is it?
[00:33:09] No not last leap of your last. I mean, I know from a science perspective like why it's at night but poor, you know, so I know so like 3 o'clock in the morning. I take a shower. Okay, because I went into have blow-dried hair. Yeah bake up on love. It's a little bit, you know, look, okay and pictures High cannot tell you how many.
[00:33:29] Of my client I get there and they're like blow drying their hair and I'm like your Dorval but that means you're in early labor. My second labor. Yeah. We'll see we're talking about here in just a minute total opposite side it so and blow dry my hair I put on makeup but like four o'clock in the morning, you know, whatever and around 6:00 it got to the point that I like couldn't really like talk through them, but they weren't they weren't Maybe.
[00:33:59] [00:34:00] Five minutes apart at this point like I had to breathe. I like lean over and like breathe through the contraction, but it wasn't anything. But you did had you slept no, okay. I try to like lay down at first, but I was just too excited. So basically you had already been in like the early labor for 8 hours and have not slept.
[00:34:19] Yes. I know you are tired. I'm assuming you're tired and I of course had the plant like in my mental birth plan was to make sure I eat before I go to the hospital so around six o'clock my husband like gets up and you know, he was. Sleepy aware. I think all night of what was happening, but I think once he saw me like having to like lean over and breathe he was like call the doctor we're going and in my mind, I knew that I wasn't really anywhere close and that I wanted to stay home.
[00:34:49] But like he was like, I think kind of like freaked out. So yeah the dot I called the doctor and they said okay come on in [00:35:00] it is today and it's 11. 11:13 and I was like, oh what a cool birthday did 11 11 the person on the phone with the OBGYN said go ahead and come on and it sounds like you're you know, really in labor.
[00:35:17] So we. It's like a freak out Moment Like This Is Happening. We're going to have our baby we get that do already packed the car and no no, but we like did all those things, you know got ready to go. So we get to the hospital and I hadn't liked told my mom yet. Then we were I didn't want to bother in the middle of the night if it wasn't anything serious.
[00:35:39] I knew she would need to be rested. Yeah and. In hindsight, we really needed to be rested because this was long. So we like let her know so she come, you know, we get to the hospital check in and they check my cervix and triage and I was like four centimeters then they said you're staying that's a really good starting point.
[00:35:59] Some people get sent [00:36:00] home at 4 centimeters. So I don't know what how they decide. He's staying in who contraction pattern? Okay, less the fact that because some people can be four centimeters dilated and not in labor walking around for weeks. Yeah. I actually just had a client that delivered last Monday and she was 6 centimeters dilated before Labor even started with baby number one.
[00:36:20] So yeah really happened. It really has a lot to do with okay could interact. It's not just one thing or another and I like a bunch of moving parts that all equal. Okay labor. Yeah, so they said you're saying you're having your baby. So it's like 8:00 a.m. At this point and I had my green smoothie on the way with.
[00:36:36] You know protein and all that so I tried to have like a full meal. That wasn't too heavy. Yeah on the way good job. I ate Bojangles waiting to that's what I was discussing and my birth story. It's like the worst regret so high five for green smoothies on my to labor. Yeah, so you were feeling good.
[00:36:55] We're really excited. So we're in the hospital. My mom had her [00:37:00] copy of the birth partner book that she had read cover to cover highlighted dog. You're taking notes in. She was armed and ready and excited, you know, so it gets to be noon. They check me again. I'm only five centimeters. Okay, so that's far.
[00:37:15] I mean five is a lot of centimeters dilated, but tell me like we're feeling do you like remember at that point? Like I know you're feeling tired, but we're contractions feeling like I had to stop and breathe through them, but. In between I was okay and there are maybe two to three minutes apart. I mean like my dad came to visit and that was fine.
[00:37:39] I had the hospital that I delivered in had bathtubs. And so we thought maybe if I got in like a warm bath that I would relax a little more and the contractions when we would pick up and I would dilate a little more so I tried that didn't help so the doctor wanted to break my [00:38:00] water. And this was almost like a turning point, right because I wasn't committed to unmedicated but I also.
[00:38:08] didn't I was afraid to go down the path of interventions. So were you up still about five centimeters? We have broke your water. Yeah, so that was about two o'clock in the afternoon. They finally broke my water and it wasn't it was insignificant. It was totally fine. Actually not a lot came out.
[00:38:25] This is a funny story. It's a little funny side note if you want to hear. Yeah, so my dad had come to visit, you know off and on throughout the day I think too like to help my mom and I mean at this point, it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and of us have like eaten, you know, so. He was excited to so he had come to visit and just left the room and I was sitting on a ball and like my husband was sitting on a chair in front of me and I was leaned over him.
[00:38:55] We are facing each other. I was leaned over him and literally soon as my Dad shut the door [00:39:00] to the hospital room to leave my the rest of my water came out in like. But huge got it was so funny and like my dad would have been horrified see that like, you know, so that was like as soon as that water broke.
[00:39:15] Yeah. It was kind of on yeah, you know, so I'm going to interject right here because sometimes when they break the water the head will almost like reseal and then when you're on the ball and you're like rocking your hips are moving around it creates sometimes space. Yeah the rest of the water to like break open Yeah, I broke it with a little tool.
[00:39:35] Yeah really was insignificant but dab that I was in the bed, but then I got up in a couple, you know, maybe an hour later that's happened. So it was funny. And then from that point, I think they checked me and I was seven centimeters and the contractions, you know, once that water breaks. Yeah, the pain really picks up I guess and so I was breathing through things, but I was exhausted and [00:40:00] so we made the decision to request the epidural and how many hours into labor.
[00:40:05] Were you at this point? Like almost 24 I want to say about 20 20 20 probably about five o'clock at night girl. That's a long time. Okay contractions weren't that bad up until the granite at that point, you know, and the fact that I was so tired and all of that kind of helped us decide like we need we need this the number one reason my clients get an epidural is because of fatigue not pain.
[00:40:33] Yeah. They just want some rest right there. Like I can handle the next contraction but I just want to go to sleep. Yeah, so were you kind of feeling that like you just wanted a break or was the pain like I need the pain to go away. I was afraid of the Ring of Fire to be honest to be perfectly honest.
[00:40:52] I was afraid of that. Okay my whole pregnancy, right? And so I said God if this is this bad now [00:41:00] it's only going to get worse, right? I don't know when we can revisit this. Yeah after my second visit because yeah, you'll yeah. I have a client that literally like saying this girl is on fire as she felt during a buyer and I wanted to die.
[00:41:20] Wow, it's for her. That's great like a now so but you had heard about this ring of fire which happened just at the delivery, but you were like, I need that to not happen to me. I can't wait your I can't deal with that, you know. Okay, I will never be right again. So when you made the decision like get me the epidural like how long did it take for the anesthesiologist to get there maybe 45 minutes or so.
[00:41:41] I mean and I wasn't like begging for it, you know, and did you already have an IV or do they have to put an IV in when I arrived at the when I got into the delivery room from the triage? Yeah, they put in the hep lock. Uh-huh. So the it was in but I wasn't hot getting any fluids. Good point. I guess maybe at this point I had had some [00:42:00] fluids, okay?
[00:42:01] But yeah, when I got to the hospital they put that in but then I was able to walk around and go out outside. They have like a little outside area, which was nice. Yeah, that's what I had wanted to do. I wanted to keep moving. I knew that that was part of it. And so yeah, so everything was ready.
[00:42:16] They had already taken the you know done the lab work and I had the fluid so it was like ready. We were ready for the epidural. Yeah, once the anesthesiologist was there so he came in and did that and God I hated that. I just I'm sorry to scare anybody but. It's okay. Tell your this is your I didn't like it either all okay the physical like active it.
[00:42:35] So let's share with everybody a little bit about what it's like to get an epidural because I also had an epidural with one of my birds and I remember like having to just be really still and curl over. Yeah, but then the contractions keep coming. So when we're stuck, yeah, so for you like what was the most uncomfortable part of the epidural?
[00:42:57] I was probably more of the mental like oh my [00:43:00] gosh, there is a huge needle going into my spine. Okay, this is scary. Yeah. Yeah. Did they show you the needle? No. Okay. So you're just envisioning what it might look like. I'm probably picturing it to be wave bigger and worse than it actually was so yeah, we got the epidural and it was fine.
[00:43:17] And I think I had a good epidural because I could still move my legs, but I couldn't feel much. However it gave me the shakes. Or maybe that was Draper. Yeah, but I had to shake so bad that I couldn't. Lay down and rest. Okay, so that was kind of a that was a big disappointment. So for everyone listening the shakes are like super normal and they're like a very annoying part of Labor and they can also happen like right after delivery to so I'll put some information about the shakes and the show notes.
[00:43:48] Okay. Yeah, that's a good good idea because I'm again something. I was not prepared for it. So a couple hours go by and yeah, like my husband and my mom took shifts going to get something to eat in the cafeteria and [00:44:00] you know little. Are there and then around? And then we got to the point where you decided.
[00:44:08] Oh, the birthday is going to be 11. 12 13 Even though. I'd gone to the labor on the 10th. Yeah, technically, but I was like, oh wait that's even cooler birthday than 1111, right? So I like it. I don't want their dad. So add a little ring to it's fun. So and that was fine. So around midnight to come and check me and.
[00:44:30] I'm 10, I guess I'm complete. I guess I'm completed this point. I had a friend recently before the suit had a baby a couple months before me and she pushed for four hours. And so I was heightened to that and I was sensitive to that and I said, I don't really feel pressure though. So I just kind of want to labor down until like I really feel the urge because I don't want that to happen to me because it was scary.
[00:44:55] Yeah, and for everyone that's listening. I am a hundred percent and [00:45:00] advocate for laboring down. So 10 centimeters is just one of the parameters that were looking for but the station of the baby meaning like where the baby is that head high is that had low is the head engaged in the pelvis. Like that's really important and let me tell you if you are not feeling the urge to Bear Down the baby is high.
[00:45:25] So, I think it's really. For didn't to like save your energy and let the baby come down. So it's good to hear you say that that's what you wanted to do. Yeah, and so they let me do that for maybe an hour or two more. Okay, and they finally I think we're like, okay. This girl's got to have this baby.
[00:45:43] Okay, so around one o'clock a.m. They're like, okay, we're gonna start pushing. So you needed a couple of pushes while the wonder if swatches and then to practice about you. Yeah, what's happening? And I don't know what [00:46:00] they could see your couldn't see at this point. So all I know is we're pushing again at this point.
[00:46:07] I've been awake for almost 48 hours. So and you know, I had that smoothie. Oh God, I might have had like half of a popsicle at some point. So I was just cooked and then I meant to ask you to rate before you started pushing when you were having the shakes and stuff. Did you ever vomit? No, no. Okay.
[00:46:28] Yeah. Yeah, so I almost wanted to tell because I knew that was transition again those classes like and item a like I knew the signs like if I could just get to the vomiting right? We're almost Isles. Yeah, so. Yeah, so we started pushing and pushing and pushing finally and I like didn't want a mirror because I was afraid to see things that I can't unsee.
[00:46:54] Yeah, but I got to the point that I was asking for a mirror because I I could. Feel [00:47:00] anything, you know and you needed some motivation. Yeah, and so they brought it in and then finally I was able to get a push or we could see a little bit of the head. Yeah. And so that was good and plus I could kind of feel how to push that butter all it's hard.
[00:47:15] Yeah, it's hard because. If it's good and heavy and it takes your pain away, it also makes it difficult to feel you know, the either the natural ejection reflex occurring that you can work with, you know, so I absolutely I was there understand how very hard yeah, so did you feel like the mirror like really helped you like?
[00:47:39] Okay what what and because I could tell like physically what I was doing. I was working. Yeah, and then I could try to recreate that on the next push. Yeah. Okay. So I end up pushing for like an hour and 45 minutes and it felt like an eternity and it was very scary for me. I don't know I think I was just really tired.
[00:47:59] But [00:48:00] also like what they've got like the heart rate monitor on and like maybe they should have said this but like, oh, the heart rate is low, you know, the heart rate is changing and I'm like celery today and I'm. Panic oh my gosh. Just take me back get this baby out. I want the baby in my arms. I don't want to do this anymore.
[00:48:16] I can I. I'm worried for his safety now. Yeah, I think one of the things too that there are many heart decelerations that are branded occasions of an emergency, right but I in 14 years I have rarely I mean maybe one or two. Ever seen a baby be born without heart deceleration, right? Because when an assistant right when the head is being compressed and there's no amniotic fluid over and over and over again it there are some natural decelerations that occur but it's more important that when the contraction is over what happens to the heart, right?
[00:48:57] And I from what I understand everything was fine and but yeah can track so [00:49:00] your son was decelerate in a little bit Yeah, but I don't think I just hearing that just scared me. And you're already going to be a healthy baby in my arms. I'm like C-section. Let's go and you know, we weren't there. So when he was born, I don't know it was so foggy at that point which makes me so sad, but it just I mean it was born at 3:45 a.m.
[00:49:24] Is such a long labor. So it's not uncommon. I know it's not uncommon. Oh, it's just really long and that people probably think I'm crazy thing. I'd a 30-hour labor and it's like no you really didn't but I mean really - I just started and they didn't stop until he was born. So I don't know. Yeah. No, it's I've been with women before for almost 50 hours.
[00:49:45] Oh my gosh. Like where I'm like I have to take a nap. So it is 30 is a long labor and you got all the way to 7 centimeters dilated totally naturally like almost 24 hours and like that's amazing. You're a rock star like [00:50:00] if if you really don't feel a rock star but than a million people haven't told you like you are a rockstar like you are rocks.
[00:50:06] So you pushed him out. I pushed him out. Everything was fine. And you know, I was just so relieved because like after the miscarriage and after the sub chorionic Hemorrhage and all that. I mean, I just wanted to hold my baby. And so it was just so emotional and it was just great. My mom was there my mom like God has like first cries on video, so.
[00:50:28] T just remember like holding him like staring at him when I was just like I'm so glad you're here. I love you so much. You know, we're going to get these lights off which is going to be you and me, you know, it's going to be yeah, we're together this amazing if you have in the world, yeah, so did your husband cut the cord?
[00:50:44] Yes. Yep. He did. Yeah, and you know in my mental birth plan, I was like delayed cord clamping all of this and and and my husband was on board with that and he saw that. Doctor put the clamp on and he's like, oh [00:51:00] no. Take the clamp off. I don't know the crazy. I'm assuming the don't know if we delay I didn't I don't know.
[00:51:08] I think he did I did I do that for a couple minutes, but I don't know that that really I feel like everything was like out the window. Yeah, you know, but still the fact that you guys were trying to advocate for something that you wanted. I think stuff is right cool. Yeah. I know we have a plan and then we just at the end of the day, you're like healthy baby in my hands right now absolutely let some of that stuff going on.
[00:51:30] You know really good. Well, it's been really amazing hearing your whole. Journey like through your pregnancies and getting your son here safely and you did such an amazing job with the labor and on another episode. So if you guys like loved hearing from Kristen you are going to die when you hear that her second birth was very precipitous.
[00:51:57] So the world just kind of took care of that long for [00:52:00] flavor. So we're going away. So on our next episode we're going to hear like part 2. Of Kristen's Journey, but before we get to that tell me like what are your favorite like baby products or did you have a favorite baby product that you used? You know what it is and this is but so helpful.
[00:52:16] Is these quick sip sheets. Oh my gosh, everybody needs these you guys a crib crib sheets are such a pain to change in my opinion and eats our yes 100% And so. And I will say this is maybe a controversial subject but I'm a bumper Mom. Okay, so I have the bumpers on so the crib sheet is even harder to change.
[00:52:42] So what these sheets are is it they go under the mattress and up over and then there's a zipper that zips on the top of the crib. And so you just like Zip off. The dirty only change the part of the crunchy that you needed a [00:53:00] touches that is for real, and it is a pain like a clean one. Well Chris and thank you so much.
[00:53:04] Thank you. Really nice to hear your story and to thank you. Thanks to Quick zip crib sheets for sponsoring. Today's episode Enver being Kristen and so many mom's favorite baby product quick. Zip offers great starter packs perfect for setting up your Nursery or to give as the best baby shower gift in the pile the packs include one base that stays on the mattress and up to three zip on sheets.
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[00:53:55] Quick sip sheets are great quality and durable and they even last kid [00:54:00] to kid. So just a reminder. You can head over today to save fifteen percent at quick zip sheet.com and use code birth story podcast and there is that hundred percent happiness guarantee.
[00:54:19] Thank you for listening to birth story. My goal is you will walk away from each episode with a clearer picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up. Plan and prepare for the birth. You want no matter what that looks like.
[00:54:43] I'm so excited to tell you about my first book that I wrote that is launching. This summer is a 42 week guide to your pregnancy. It's a collection of birth stories. It has a ton of doula advice. From all of the questions that my [00:55:00] clients have asked me over the last 14 years. It has hysterical partner tips that you will want to read to your partner and it has journaling prompts because nobody has time to write a 20-page has in their Journal about their pregnancy.
[00:55:13] So I've taken the Liberty to give you some prompts of things that I think you might want to remember back on after the baby's born. So again, you can go to burst or e.com. And pre-order a copy today and it would mean the world to me.
[00:55:33] If you're enjoying this podcast then I need your help to spread the word if you know anyone who is pregnant. Is trying to become pregnant or just loves a good birth story if you could send them to iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify or SoundCloud wherever they listen to their podcast and ask them to subscribe to the birth story podcast.