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3: Meet Tory Jones of Ixchel Triangle Sharing Her Hospital & 3 Midwife Home Births

Heidi Campbell

RACHEL.HOLLIS.INTERVIEWED.TORY.FIRST.

On January 1, 2019 I was listening to the RISE Podcast episode with Rachel Hollis interviewing Tory Jones the CEO of Ixchel Triangle. When asked about the name of her company she said that Ixchel is the name of the Mayan Goddess of Midwifery. Tory became pregnant in her senior year of high school and delivered her first baby in the hospital with a midwife naturally. Her mom had birthed all of her siblings at home and she desired a home birth, but insurance got in the way. With her whole family in tow, she birthed her first daughter snapping her fingers and pushing two times then enjoying chicken piccata after birth. Five days later she was back to her college classes. Her next three daughters were all born at home and she shares the differences between hospital and home birthing beautifully. After four babies, she knows her laboring positions and her birthing positions and trusts her body through the process. She nursed almost continuously for 14 years and not just her own children. When doing work in Guatemala for her GORGEOUS bag company Ixchel Triangle she would often nurse the babies in the nursery she visited as well as her nieces and nephews. This woman is an amazing CEO, birthing goddess, and leader for normalizing breastfeeding. Her favorite and must-have baby products are the Baby Hammock (find an example HERE) and the Ring Sling. BabyList has a great link for finding the best Ring Sling for you at HERE. We have so much to learn from Tory! 

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Transcription:

 3 Meet Tory Jones of Ixchel Triangle Shares Her Hospital & 3 Midwife Home Births - Host MyDoulaHeidi - Birth Story Podcast

[00:00:00] What does a contraction feel like how do I know if I'm in labor? And what does a day of Labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell a certified birth Doula host of this podcast birth story and owner of my Doula Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries and I.

[00:00:29] Give that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are with an each week to get answers to these tough questions and more birth story where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries where we tell our stories share our feelings and of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood and because I'm passionate about birth outcomes.

[00:00:55] You will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery whether you. [00:01:00] Pregnant trying desperately to get pregnant. I hope you will stick around and be part of this tribe.  Wah wah wah. Okay. So today's episode as a little bit of gobbledygook Echo from the Skype, but the episode content is Kick-Ass.

[00:01:19] Hey everybody. This is Heidi Campbell. And today I have Tory Jones who is going to talk about her for home births. So I just don't want you to can we start off and just tell anybody who's listening just who you are and kind of what your story is. Okay? Yeah, I'm Tori Jones. I'm from Redlands California.

[00:01:41] I'm the mother of four daughters and I own a ethically minded. Accessory and bad company called a shell triangle where I work with indigenous women in Guatemala. And so I was listening to the rise podcast on January 1st for some [00:02:00] inspiration and some uplifting on starting a business and a podcast and Tori was the guest and at the very end.

[00:02:08] She was describing like why her company was named I shall triangle so Tory. Do you mind telling us that story because I think it's just so cool. Yes, for sure. Yeah, he's shell is the Mayan goddess of fertility and Midwifery and when I was starting the company I was trying to think of you know, like what name should I use and I had always just I had loved you know the scotus and the name and I was like that's.

[00:02:38] For sure has to be the name of my company, even if it's hard to pronounce or people don't know it is it just was so connected to who I was as a person because I have four daughters and my saw a midwife through all of their births. I actually ended up having my first daughter in the hospital due to.

[00:02:58] Insurance reasons [00:03:00] and then my other three I did have at home with my Midwife and I was actually born at home with one of the same Midwife. So it was just it was. It was very much connected to who I was as a person. So I knew that was the name I had to go with so I have so many questions about just starting out right there.

[00:03:19] So were you going to plan a home birth then for your very first one and then ended up in a hospital because of insurance. They did you want to start with start first baby with home birth. No, I had never really. Because I was born at home. I'm one of five siblings and we were all born at home with midwife's and this was during the 80s when having a child at home with a midwife in California was actually illegal.

[00:03:45] So it wasn't even legal to do that. And my mom had us at home anyways and kind of funny story. I didn't even get a birth certificate till I was 7 years old because of that reason. Yeah. [00:04:00] Which made it really hard to get a passport because then they always think like I'm I don't know not who I say I am.

[00:04:08] But anyway, so so I was home birth is. And birth was a midwife is very natural to me and my family so it wasn't something that I thought like. Oh, I needed to have my first baby in the hospital. You know, I saw a midwife for birthing classes and then it just ended up that our insurance wouldn't cover it to have her at home.

[00:04:34] And at that point we could not afford to have. Have a home birth without insurance covering it so I ended up having my oldest in the hospital. And yeah, because I was young I got pregnant with my first daughter when I was a senior in high school and I had her my first. My first semester of college, so I was didn't have a lot of money.

[00:04:58] Oh my goodness. [00:05:00] Your story is just like my mom's my mom same thing. She said that she remembers like taking my brother to college league with him like strapped to her back and that he would just be quiet like while she went to classes. So oh, yeah, that's a Sony. I took five days off of school. And then I went back and my teeth.

[00:05:25] My professors were awesome. I went to the University of Redlands and they were so supportive of me. I'm yeah, I'm pretty sure I was the only woman there with a child and. They were awesome. Like they helped me work my schedule around like when I needed any childcare or they would let me bring her to lectures and or study groups or any outings that we had and you know, I joke that when I graduated college my my three and a half year old guard agree to I love it girl [00:06:00] power.

[00:06:00] I'm so glad that you've finished though because that is. And increase its just so hard to be a new mom. So I can't even imagine being like a brand-new mom and trying to navigate, you know college so I don't know much of your background, but were you were you a single mom or were you married? I was we were not married, but we ended up getting married later after I graduated college, but we weren't we were together, but we were not married then and yeah I had.

[00:06:28] So I graduated high school like five and a half months pregnant or so, and then I had already gotten into University and I remember some people being like telling me, you know, you should take time off or you know, don't you know go to school go to school and your kids are older and I think the best piece of advice my mom ever gave me ever in my life was she said to me, you know, no go because if you don't go now you'll.

[00:06:57] You'll always regret [00:07:00] it. And so I'm like, okay, so I went to school big pregnant. I had her I went to school like the day before I had gave birth. I went back five days later and I just kept going. Oh my goodness stop there. See you in your school like the day before you gave birth. So were you so tell me about that first birth?

[00:07:21] Like were you having any contractions like that day like the day before or like kind of how did it unfold? Well, so that's what it was a little for me looking back the regrets that I have about that birth was that I didn't have enough knowledge. I didn't I didn't prepare myself enough. I trusted the doctor too much in my opinion and I was due on.

[00:07:52] October 25th 2004. And I had a doctor's appointment on the 20th and I went in and [00:08:00] my doctor. I said okay lean back and I lean back and she said okay, I'm going to do something. It might hurt a little bit and she stripped my membranes without telling me what she was going to do without letting me know what you know, what happened after she did that and it and I remember feeling like it hurts so bad and I started to cry and she just looked at me and said, okay.

[00:08:22] Well, you're probably gonna go into labor tonight or tomorrow and I was like what and this. I wasn't even do for five days. And she said well, you know because next week by your appointment you'd be past your due date right now is where I should probably tell you don't mention any names of hospital.

[00:08:46] I was like, but. This happens all the time. So this is like your oldest but this is still happening. It's happening in North Carolina where I live where I have to you have to coach [00:09:00] everyone to if there's no reason really to get an internal exam at the end. I mean if you're not if you're not in labor, I mean, there's really there's no reason for it and I exac everybody be very careful like if you're going to let.

[00:09:15] If you're a numbers person and you just want to know how dilated your services like, please tell them to be gentle and to not sweep your membranes because it is something that is done all the time without the permission. So, I'm sorry that that happened to you. Did you remember back to that first birth, though?

[00:09:34] A lot of people will like have some like cramping and some light spotting you said that the procedure itself was uncomfortable and you didn't expect it. But what happened? It was and I remember like walking out, you know, we left the appointment and then I just started crying in the parking lot because I was upset about what had happened.

[00:09:54] This is especially without my permission and. And [00:10:00] then throughout the day I felt fine and then later in the evening. I never you know, I was like waiting to lose my mucus plug and or for my water to break or anything like that and with all of my births my water never broke before I was pushing.

[00:10:19] Wow. Yeah. Okay. There you go. Yeah. It's actually a great thing. It was it was always just started out with. Yeah, I started feeling uncomfortable and pains and like cramping and then I'm like, okay, I think I'm in labor. And then you realize you really are. Yeah. So this is like you had just gotten a college like the day before normal day and then you started to feel like that cramping and stuff and your water never break broke.

[00:10:47] But so we're you alone. Where you at home. Like, how did the early labor start for you? Yeah, I remember I was at home watching friends. And I remember it like friends came on at like [00:11:00] 11 or 11:30 at night. So that's when I was like, okay, that's when my labor started and I love that you can mark that.

[00:11:08] Yeah.

[00:11:11] Yeah, and and so I just stayed home and I remember staying home. You know tried to stay home for as long as possible because I didn't want to go and have I didn't want to end up having a lot of interventions or things being done to me that I didn't think you know where necessary I'm like as hands off as possible.

[00:11:34] So.  we stayed home for a long time and then I didn't go I was like 11 o'clock at night when I was like, oh, yeah, this is for sure labor. We went into the hospital in the next morning and.  I ended up giving birth at three o'clock in the afternoon. Wow. Okay, so a pretty typical first labor. [00:12:00] So usually we say like 12 to 18 hours is pretty normal for forced labor.

[00:12:05] So it sounds like you are. Right in that you know area and then tell me about the transition to from home to the hospital like being somebody whose mom birthed at home and you kind of had a dream of birthing at home and then having to like kind of make that turn to get to the hospital. Like do you remember what that looks like for you?

[00:12:29] I remember the drive and I remember thinking. That my sister-in-law drove me to the hospital remember thinking she is the worst driver ever like driving through contractions. Hopefully she at least put some music on for you. Oh, well, it was funny because my family at the time owned a coffee shop and they all stopped at the coffee gets mad and I was in the car like what are you doing?

[00:13:00] [00:13:00] Oh, so it was pretty funny. Oh my God, they were like, they're like, no you've got plenty of time. We're going to get some coffee and snacks. Yeah, they do. It's so interesting because on a first birth, you're like, I remember like I was like I have to. Go to the hospital right now. And here I am.

[00:13:18] I'm a dude. I'm a doula and I'm like, oh, I'm so far along and my husband's like got the Bradley book out and he's like honey. I really feel like you're not far along and that you have like a long way to go and I'm like no, I mean this baby is coming like right now, I'm a doula. And I remember like everyone just totally taking their time and I'm like, why isn't there a sense of urgency and then when I got to the hospital I was only one centimeter dilated.

[00:13:47] So so they were calm and cool like they you know, it was your mom was your mom with you. Yeah, she went out of that is I figured I was like I figured she's like you've got plenty of time [00:14:00] interesting because so when I got to the hospital they had I specifically remember with my later births, you know, really going back to this time that they checked me to see how dilated I was and I remember feeling so discouraged because I was probably only like three or four centimeters and that mentally was not good for me to hear that.

[00:14:23] I feel like that slowed my birth down because I wasn't feeling like real motivated like okay, I'm almost there. I just felt really discouraged and so in my later births, I never if my Midwife ever checked me. I always told her do not tell me how dilated I am. Don't tell me how fast I am. I don't want to know.

[00:14:46] Because I would rather feel confident like I'm almost there and be really positive about it and move my birth along quicker like that then to have negative feelings and to tighten up and slow the process [00:15:00] down. Yeah, I think that's such an important, you know thing to note because I'm with moms so many times and they will get to triage.

[00:15:10] This is what they do here in North Carolina. They put you in triage first when you get to the hospital just to see. They're going to keep you and moms are like three four five centimeters and you can just see their whole face get defeated. Yeah, I'm thinking oh my goodness. Like you've come so far 0 to 4 takes so long and so much hard work and I just I can never really convinced mom's of this like arbitrary number, you know, it's like so much more important where the baby is, like if the baby's like really low you can go from 5 to 10 centimeters in one contraction and I've seen.

[00:15:53] Happen so many times. So so you got in and you kind of felt a little bit discouraged, but I'm [00:16:00] kind of getting the sense that you have a pretty high pain tolerance the hope so so are you handling the contractions like pretty well, it sounds like I think so just because yeah, I think I have a pretty good pain tolerance and I also.

[00:16:19] You know, I think this is like the one pain our bodies are made to go through to feel you know, like you break a bone you cut yourself again a car accident whatever like that is totally unnatural. We were made to birth. You know, we were created for the NN detail we can handle it. Yes. Yes. I tell everybody if you want to go natural.

[00:16:45] You absolutely can because again you are made to do it. It's a whole nother thing whether or not someone wants to or not by exactly, but you can some people don't want to but for me [00:17:00] after especially after four of them. I felt not not just physically like I could do it, but I mentally and emotionally like.

[00:17:10] Did you just see what I did or there's not one? I don't know kind of cost. Like there's not any fucking thing. I can't do. You know, it's an explicit podcast, please cause it makes me feel comfortable, you know, and you just feel like a badass like, yep, I did that. And now I can do anything else I want to do so don't try and stop me.

[00:17:36] Yes, I think so. I've had one medicated birth and one completely all-natural birth. And one of the things that I just always go to is that I'm an I'm an athlete and I grew up as a competitive soccer player in a runner and to me it was like I pushed my body to a place. I didn't even think was.

[00:18:00] [00:17:59] Possible and I went so deep inside myself that I literally like awoke from my natural birth and I have never been so proud of myself. So I feel like that's kind of what you're you know, what you're talking about. Is that similar feeling just like I could take on anything after I did that? Yeah.

[00:18:25] It's a sense of accomplishment and realizing, you know. Yeah, well your body can do and and then it's okay. Yeah, so okay. So with that first birth, like what came next like did your whole family like pile into the hospital room? I kind of want like I envisioned like, you know, 10 people around you like what was that?

[00:18:47] Yes. It was like my grandparents my parents all of my siblings. It was funny my sister-in-law do you have. Other do your brother's bed. Do [00:19:00] I've togethers Okay, Mother's Day were there my brother. My older brother was in college in Monterey like in Northern California and they like drove down to be at my birth.

[00:19:12] I love this because I bet if the it's all of you guys are a born at home than some of your siblings saw the other sub siblings be born. I'm assuming. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, so I have. My brother there's for youngers of us and he was at all of our births and then I have three younger siblings and I was at all of their birth.

[00:19:32] So and that's like my girls were at you know each. Younger siblings birth also, so it's just it's not something weird or uncomfortable at all. It's like it's normal. It's normal like party in the hospital for birth like the only thing unnatural for your family was that you were in a hospital, right?

[00:19:56] Oh, yeah, they all gave me shit about that. I'm [00:20:00] sure okay. So you've got a party going on and then then what happened like how. Labor and delivery progress. Um, I did a lot of walking and. I'm trying to remember I remember doing like a lot of walking and feeling like it wasn't pursuing that fast because you know my mom's like it's normal.

[00:20:23] It's your first birth because I'm like and I'm also like just get this shit done and I remember like snapping my fingers like let's do this. Yeah, but I had to wait. I do remember throwing up like all over my husband my boyfriend at the time like all over his arm, and then my my mom's feet because whenever I go into transition and I know this now after having 4 kids before I'm going to transition.

[00:20:53] I always just start throwing up and I will just throw up. Everything totally [00:21:00] normal right there with you and I cannot tell you how much throw up. I have actually caught and it's so funny because when Mom started throwing up they also in transition, it's so common that they're like, oh no, I can't do this anymore.

[00:21:19] You're like you're done. Let's see it Zoe exactly. So you were throwing up everywhere. Oh, yeah, and it felt so, you know what it feels so good afterwards and I and I knew after that first birth with my next ones like that. I you know at first I was like I don't want to throw up or I don't know what it was.

[00:21:38] Like maybe I thought it was a bad thing, but then I realized like I felt so much better afterwards and my body needed to do this because it was like getting ready to you know, empty everything out. So. And I remember throwing up a turkey and cranberry sandwich and there's cranberries all over the [00:22:00] earth.

[00:22:00] I always was like I don't care. You can't bury sandwich. Oh my gosh. I am not having a turkey sandwich for dinner tonight. That is for yeah, and then and then after birth. So like before like when I'm in labor, I want to Turkey and cranberry sandwich. And then after I have my babies, I want chicken piccata.

[00:22:19] That's just how I like it. This is so awesome. I ate I don't even know if they have it on the West Coast. I ate Bojangles on the way. It's not spittle like disgusting like fright basically like Southern Fried Chicken like the song. Mr. Bojangles. Yeah like that. I never write with fried chicken and like a big like Southern buttermilk biscuit like that is a that is my labor meal, huh?

[00:22:49] Oh my goodness. So you're throwing up everywhere. And yep, and now, you know that that was transition and that your baby was coming and then [00:23:00] was this Hospital like were they open to you just kind of birthing and whatever position you wanted. You know now I'm trying to remember and I you know, I can't remember exactly but for me, and I know it so.

[00:23:17] It's counter to what I've seen at a lot of Home births or what. I've always read but I like birthing laying down for me like I will labor walking around and I really like to labor on hands and knees and I feel good doing that. But then when I'm going to push. I like to like to lay down and and I like counter-pressure and that's always been really good for me.

[00:23:43] Like whether I'm not laying on my back a lot of times. I'll lay on my side but always like pushing my legs against like with my last night with my last three births. It was like pulling my legs against my Midwife shoulders. Mmm and then [00:24:00] having that. That counter pressure was always really good for me like to push and so I was I was actually okay Lane.

[00:24:10] So I had all of my I end up having all of my girls laying down. I labored walking around lots of hands and knees and then I laid down when I had them did you lay down on it on your side or were you laying down on your back for the hospital when I was on my back and then with my other three. With my skin burst.

[00:24:32] I had labored in the pool. Like we had a pool and then I got up out of the pool because I had a cervical lip. So I wasn't able to push so I got out and I laid down on the ground and they had they held my legs kind of up closer. Dilate and get rid of the cervical lip all the way. Yeah, and then they had said to me.

[00:24:54] Okay, you can jump back in the pool now is like I am not moving. I'm having this baby on the ground and I had my second [00:25:00] one just on the floor behind my couch my living room. I love it. You know that that baby's coming when you cannot move when you're like no the baby's Solo in the baby's coming out and you're like, nope.

[00:25:13] I'm just not moving. I'm having the baby right here. I'm like, I'm like, I'm not moving. They're like, okay. Let's grab some Chuck's pads. So you don't ruin your floor. Yeah. So on your first did you know, what was a boy or a girl before hand? You know what we did find out. Yeah, you did. Okay, so you knew it was going to be a girl right first one and then so then so how many did you push for a long time or just a few pushes know?

[00:25:42] I pushed twice anyone who's listening to this podcast and you are pregnant with your first baby. Do not listen to Tori Joe. I know it is very rare to only push two times with you were smart. [00:26:00] No, that's amazing. I think that that speaks a lot to having a natural childbirth and being able to move your body freely while you're laboring.

[00:26:09] It also speaks to the fact that you were young. I will say that the younger you are birth is just easy exactly. I'm like 18 year olds are meant to have babies. Forty year olds were also meant to have babies because I also did that but it's just a little harder. She's so little yeah, you know, you need some help getting out of the squat.

[00:26:34] Yep, and I and I never tour with any of my girls either. Oh, that's so edible.  I think I have I have a lot of control over how fast I'm pushing or not and in the hospital, I didn't realize that I just pushed you know. Yeah, but then later when I had my home birth, my Midwife would be like, okay don't push slow down weight.

[00:26:56] And I remember thinking like I am not going to rush [00:27:00] this I am not going to tear and so I you know, I would push a couple times and then I wouldn't I would hold off because I didn't want to go too quickly and then it always worked well, so I think that that is like a really beautiful thing to teach other women that are birthing is too.

[00:27:19] Breathe your baby down and listen to your body. Like I've been in a hospital room so many times or they're like push push push and I'm on the other side the Doula and I'm like listen to your body. Listen to your body your body like your body tells tells you exactly what to do and it doesn't tell you to do something to hurt itself women in comas can have babies.

[00:27:41] Okay, your body will do it whether you try or not. Yes with it that I call it the I mean, I don't call it the whole Community calls it the ejection reflex, but that. In reflex is going to get triggered whether you are whether you are part of the birthing experience or not. So [00:28:00] exactly and so it's good to know that and good to know that you don't have to rush it any faster than it needs to happen.

[00:28:08] Yeah, so she comes out and you knew she was a girl. You know and here you are. You're a really young mom. Like you're in college. I can't believe you went back to school five days later, but that's a whole nother. I'm like, it's all another podcast. So tell me like just what that moment was like like just becoming a model for the first time.

[00:28:29] Oh my gosh. I remember thinking I remember holding her and thinking this is the most beautiful, baby. In the entire world how to how is this possible? And I remember saying to everyone that came in y'all have him like, oh my gosh. Is this the most beautiful baby I've ever seen and then now I look at pictures.

[00:28:46] I'm like, actually she wasn't back here. Oh my goodness, you're drunk with hormones, you know all that oxytocin that's like running through your body. You're [00:29:00] like, this is amazing. And of course, you know, you're made to feel that way and it's bonding and it's so great, but her. Because she was sunny side up.

[00:29:07] So I had a lot of back labor and so her face was like very swollen and her nose was like, you know bigger than it should have looked probably so it was probably bruised. Her face was probably bruised from your pelvic bone. Yes, exactly. So that's why looking at pictures. I'm like, oh she doesn't.

[00:29:30] She looks a little different, you know, but I I couldn't see that at the time. Did you did they like let the cord stop pulsating or like did you cut the cord or how did that go down her dad cut the cord? Yeah, we waited for it to finish which you know, that's another thing like people having the hospital births that you should.

[00:29:51] He's all of this stuff. You need to be like super Vigilant and aware of like if you want something a certain way you have to [00:30:00] be you know, or have a dual obviously to be your Advocate. Otherwise, they're just going to go by what standard. Yeah, so and for us it was important to wait, you know for are all of the girls to finish pulsing and pulsating and then and then cut it, you know later when we were ready.

[00:30:19] So I'm going to ask you what I asked. Everyone is that I and I will disclose that. I ingested My Placenta and I'm a big believer with any of your birds. Did you do placenta encapsulation or or any ritual with your placenta? Yeah with my I didn't with my first one. I don't remember I guess. I don't really remember that being an option now.

[00:30:47] It's so. Much more common, I think to do with my first one. We took the placenta home and planted it and that's what my mom did with all of ours. We had [00:31:00] rose trees in the front of our house and she planted, you know our placentas and then planted a rosetree over it mom had rose tree. So you very jours and with what with a rose tree also.

[00:31:13] That's you know, what good question like trying to remember. I'm like, I think we did because I've moved the organization you have that owl still so I can see like someone being crazy and being like I have to take this tree with me. It's My Placenta tree. I'm not a very sentimental person actually song like I was cool and now I'm cool to move on also.

[00:31:38] But with my last three I encapsulated the placentas and I took those I felt like it was really good. I I've never I never get postpartum, but I do lose a ton of hair and I do get.  I'm also anemic like I get pretty anemic and [00:32:00] I felt like it's helped with both of those. I wish I could like shout from the rooftop.

[00:32:05] We have clinical scientific data or whatever and they won't let us do any of that. So we just have to go with Mom testimonials that say our hemoglobin increases and are needing that gets better and we feel better when we ingest are placentas. I have seen a lot of difference with the hair loss.

[00:32:25] There's a company someone needs to if it's not already like I had chunks of like bald spots on the front of my head. And I would wear these big beautiful head bands from Uganda. I had a friend that had gone to Uganda and got me these big headbands and I just warm for months until the baby here started to come back.

[00:32:45] So yeah. Oh no. Yeah. I am thankful that I have a lot of hair to start with but. Every time after I had a kid, I lost so much hair and that's what my body that's also my body's way of like when I'm [00:33:00] stressed. I'll lose hair also. Yeah, like I know I won't let it out other ways. At least you've got hair to shed though.

[00:33:08] That's true. But yeah, I lose a lot of it and and then also through breastfeeding like I feel like my hair breaks off a lot a lot easier and it doesn't grow as much and basically I've basically been. Breastfeeding or pregnant almost for the last 14 years. I haven't I mean I've had like two little breaks in there.

[00:33:29] Oh God, like want to give you a hug. So I mean it's just so hard it is so beautiful and it is so it's just like the most selfless selfless thing. We do. We just give over ourselves to our children. You know, yeah, it's it's funny. I don't know, you know people always say Co my kids keep me young.

[00:33:51] I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about because my kids literally suck the life out of me and I can't even imagine like when you say like [00:34:00] 14 years, I'm like, okay, so mine are 15 months apart, and I only have two but you make me want to have like four more and but I just like. I feel like I should probably shouldn't say this on the podcast but I'm going to but I call it like touched out like I was like so pregnant and nursing for like I don't know four year in mine was only like four years, so I can't even imagine 14 and I just like got to the point where I'm like, oh God.

[00:34:25] I know I cannot have sex tonight. I just I can't even kiss you. I'm like, I am Thailand out some sucking on my boobs. Yeah. I'm like or just or even like looking at me like I just yeah, can I get. Body back for like an hour one hour to myself, you know in four years, you know, so when you say 14 and makes me have heart palpitations because in one sense, I'm like, oh I just wish I had so many more kids and then I'm like, oh my God 14 years you I just you're amazing like you are amazing.

[00:34:57] Okay. So let's go back. I'm [00:35:00] not dying to hear about these home birds. So you had three of them and you know, I probably have to have you back for like a million episodes, but. Kind of if you could just kind of wrap them up or like when your favorite like what your favorite parts of those home birds are how they unfolded.

[00:35:17] Like, what do you what can you tell me her? I did not birth at home. So I want to know I want to know all about it. My home births were great and I am thankful that I can compare the two and I would 100% for me advocate. Home birth. It was I had an amazing Midwife and who is an amazing teacher and.

[00:35:47] She is like a very was like a very calming presence and I just had really really wonderful birth and they everything went smoothly everything and and I also birth [00:36:00] pretty I would say easy because I've never had a complication. I've never torn I've never you know, my pushing always goes super quick with every with every birth all four births.

[00:36:13] I've only had to push, you know. To to maybe eight times maybe eight at the most I'm sorry, so I can't give like some amazing story of like, you know, I pushed for hours and I did it. No if I had it easy, but but yeah with each birth it got a little shorter and shorter with my third birth. It was maybe a tattoo or sorry with my second birth.

[00:36:44] It was maybe eight hours. Tops, okay, and and then my third birth I think because my between my second and third they were pretty close together that my girls are two years apart and it was my third birth and I was like [00:37:00] still breastfeeding. So I was breastfeeding my second daughter through pregnancy, and then we tandem nurse for like another year.

[00:37:09] That is hard to do that is really hard to do because a lot of moms their milk dries up when they get pregnant again, so did you go through a period when you were like, did you go through any period of time or like your milk production slowed down when you got pregnant or was it pretty consistent for you?

[00:37:28] I don't think so. Yeah, I've always had a ton of milk, so. And I'm always nursed other people's kids too. I know some people think that's weird. But I'm like if there's a baby sure all nurses say oh my gosh. I love you. Okay, so I'm just gonna like energetic this little story right here is that when I came home from the hospital with my first and this is all another podcast, but she was born at 43 weeks gestation because I'm stubborn as shit, and I was like no induction.

[00:37:59] So, you [00:38:00] know, So but my milk like just did not come in and he was giant he was almost 11 pounds. And so he's like this humongous 11 Pounder with like so overdue and so hungry and like no milk and my best friend had just had twins like I don't know the year before and so she was nursing Twins and just had all this moment.

[00:38:24] She came over and I'm like crying and she just said, could I just feed your baby? Like yes, and she just grabbed him and she fed him and he was so calm and he was so happy and I that made me calm and then my milk came in like a few hours later and I really think it's because because I was able to just like find peace and myself because she was nursing my baby and taking care of work stressing out.

[00:38:53] Yeah, and then I actually had a milk donor. For him because my milk stopped when I got [00:39:00] pregnant five months later. I got pregnant with my second and my milk stopped when I got pregnant and so I actually had a milk donor that supplied the breast milk. So I just how many babies before besides your Forum.

[00:39:12] Like, how many babies have you noticed? Can you disclose this? You know people probably think this is weird too, but I have honestly, I'm not even sure because.

[00:39:27] I have my family will have a lot of kids around the same age. There's 15 cousins. I have the oldest and the youngest of the 15 and.  and so. I remember shoot I'll my sister-in-law was in school. And so she would go to school on the weekends and their baby would not take a bottle. So I hung out with my brother when his wife was in school would nurse their baby like every Saturday and Sunday we would hang out and I'd nurse their baby who would [00:40:00] like a few months different from think they're a few months apart for my second daughter.

[00:40:05] And so I would so I've nursed a few of my nieces and nephews that one I nursed the longest while my sister-in-law finished school. And and then also whenever I'm bottom Allah if I don't have I usually will take my I mean not always but sometimes I'll take my kids with me, but if I don't take them with me then.

[00:40:29] Always like be nursing friends kids down there because there's always a baby. Yeah, and so a lot of times I'll either take my breast pump and then I donate my milk to a hospital down there because it's different there than it is here. They'll take you donated milk because I really need it in the hospital's so I'll do that or I'll just if I'm with friends then I'll just nursing their babies.

[00:40:52] Oh my gosh. I love everything about you. I like I just wanted. In your family and I love [00:41:00] everything about you. Okay. So here's a question I have for you and you have home Birds is so I in my mind. I'm just like, oh you go into labor and you're at home and then you deliver at home, but then I'm like.

[00:41:11] Just instead of having to transfer to the hospital, but I'm like, it's quite possible. I guess that you go into labor and you're not at home and then you have to go home go have your own part. So did you go into labor at home? There were other three times or were you in and out and about and then you had to go home?

[00:41:29] With my second one I was at home and that was fine because I remember like waking up in the middle of the night like oh, yeah. I'm in labor. And then so we just stayed and then with my third I was actually dilated at 5 Centimeters for a solid week with my third daughter before I had her and I could reach up and touch her head.

[00:41:50] Wow, when yeah, and I remember walking around I then I remember walking around being like. There is literally a [00:42:00] head in between my legs and it was July and it was so hot and I was miserable, but I had. You know it was under to our labor is like an hour and a half labor with her. So it was that is a far away's I like I get scared.

[00:42:18] I'm like when my clients are like five to six centimeters dilated before Labor starts. I'm like, I'm never I'm not even gonna make it to you. Yeah, I like it is going to be a miracle. If you even you know, if they're going to the hospital, I forgot to tell you this but it is it is still illegal in North Carolina to have a home birth.

[00:42:39] Isn't that so sad? Oh, yeah, that is scream and cry. I just want to cry. Maybe this podcast will start to change things like that as an RV is go on. So that's insane. Okay? Yeah, so hopefully for your third one, hopefully you are already at home to so your second one you started [00:43:00] labor in the middle of the night.

[00:43:01] Yeah, and then my third one note it my third one. It was like. We were at my grandma's house, which thankfully it was is like 3 minutes away from my house and we were having dinner over there. Hold on. Is it the grandma that lived in Guatemala? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay for anyone is listening if you haven't listened to Tori On The Rise podcast go listen to the January 1st episode with Tori and you can learn all about her amazing.

[00:43:30] Bad Company in her sweet Grandma. Okay. Sorry keep going. So you're at your grandma's house giving you a little plug. Yes. We were having dinner with my grandma's with are two other daughters and I started I felt a little where I was like, oh, okay. I think I'm gonna go into labor tonight. You know, I just I just had this feeling where I'm like, I don't want to keep eating food.

[00:43:53] Yeah, and I feel like I need to go the bathroom maybe so I texted my husband because at this one we had [00:44:00] decided we didn't want to have anyone else at this birth. I'm like no, I just want to be us. Oh, I bet your family was yeah, they were yeah, but the other ones it was like, you know, we had a bunch of people at and I just wanted real quiet.

[00:44:19] Okay, because I don't know you just you just can't L like with with my second with my first birth. Everybody was there with my second one. I had like a whole playlist of music which I really liked and then with my third one, I just wanted it quiet. So it was just with every birth. I just felt something different that I wanted.

[00:44:36] Yeah, and and so for this one I was like, okay. Well, I don't want to say that I think I'm going into labor. So I texted him we're at the dinner table and I was. We should go home because I'm going to have the baby and and he just was like, okay guys, you know time to clean up and so, you know the kids the girls finished dinner and I as we were driving home, I was [00:45:00] like, yeah, definitely Call the Midwife and let her and let them know they should come home and so.

[00:45:05] Our other two girls were kind of younger at that time. So it's like just drive around for a few minutes and let them fall asleep in the car. So they had like falling asleep in the car. We called The Midwives and then we came in later our older daughters down put them to sleep and then my midwife's got there right away and my husband like made coffee for them and all this stuff because he's like, oh, it'll probably be a long night and then all of a sudden they're like, nope, like they could just hear when they walked in the door.

[00:45:34] Through my labor sounds like oh no the baby's coming like soon. So you started labor like in transition, basically. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was like when they walked in the door, I was in my bedroom on the floor on hands and knees naked. Yeah, so and just like moaning that guttural like yes that you had are all the baby is coming now.

[00:45:58] Yes. Hmm. It [00:46:00] was like the Deep. Like the Deep noises that you're that you start making and so that was quick. And yeah, we had a super quick. She was born at like 11:30 at night and the Midwife stayed for a couple hours. I got up took a shower and we laid down and went to sleep my gosh so different than a hospital birth like so yeah different.

[00:46:30] Okay, so did you have chicken piccata? Then the next morning? I'm my mother-in-law brought me chicken piccata the next morning. Oh my goodness. I love it. Okay. So you have four is you have four girls? No boys. Yep. Yep your girls they see you guys. Don't know how to make. Boys at all. So now do their personalities kind of match their birth stories or like what you wanted like, so you remember you were saying like number one like it was like a party [00:47:00] but then like number three you wanted to be alone.

[00:47:01] Like does do did any of that intuition like pass over to their personalities. I would say somewhat. Yes. My my first one she. Still gives me the most grief out of any of my kids. I'm like, yep longest labor most painful. She was sunny side up. Yep. Uh-huh. She's still like that. Yeah, and then with my with my next to they you know, my third one was super easy, chill and and she's like that as a person.

[00:47:42] She's just like the child that. No matter what happens or what situation she is in life. She will be happy and fine and that's exactly how her birth was and and with my with my third one. She's like very same thing. It's so interesting that you ask that [00:48:00] very steady, but on top of it and it's just yes that goes along with their birth so much and I don't know if that's true for many other people but with my with my girls.

[00:48:13] I hadn't really thought about that. But now that you're asking it to true and was my fourth daughter. She was also very quick. It was like a 2-hour to our labor and and when she came out it was just the craziest thing because she did not make a noise for like a solid 30 minutes. And what she was doing her eyes though.

[00:48:35] She looking at you. Oh, yeah. Yep. She was owed her eyes were wide open and she was the most alert child I've ever had she like lifted her head. She was just laying on my stomach. Her cord was really short so I couldn't pull her all the way up to my chest until I had given birth to the placenta.

[00:48:52] And so she was laying on my stomach. She didn't want a nurse. She didn't want to cry her eyes were open and she was just [00:49:00] looking back and forth. And then she just laid her head down on me and was just looking around and taking it all in for like a good 30 minutes and then she started making noises and then she nursed and it was totally fine and she is like that.

[00:49:14] Still and she's she's been my most chill quiet Pleasant child so easy and how old are how old are all your kids right now fourteen nine seven and two. Oh my goodness you there 12 years apart from. Yes orders. Oh my gosh, you don't credible. I asked that question because I do have a lot of moms that I've been there Doula for like up to their fifth.

[00:49:45] I haven't been idle for more than five like five babies of the same. You know, Mom yet who knows that how you know, I'm only 40 and they're only about the same age now too. So, I don't know how many more they may have [00:50:00] but for the moms that have had four and five that I've been there to us. These are conversations that we have a lot that they're their labor and deliveries sort of have kind of marked their their personality tight.

[00:50:15] Yeah. It sounds like they interesting. Yeah, like they made their entrance into the world the way that they kind of wanted to be known. So I really cool. Well if you could like look back on all the experiences like do you have like a favorite moment or a funny moment? Man, or like is there a story that you find yourself like repeatedly telling I would say I don't you know what I don't feel the need to like tell a lot of stories or talk about it.

[00:50:48] If people want to know then I you know, obviously tell them whatever I'm on here telling you everything. But I'm not like shoving it in people's faces like oh, this [00:51:00] is how I birthed and because I know it's different for everybody and.  I would say with my.  with my third it was it was great and it was just easy and I remember I remember being so happy with how fast it was and I was like, yes, you know and then with my fourth one, I was just all so so glad like.

[00:51:26] I just snap my fingers. I it's funny. I will snap be snapping my fingers and birth and being like let's do this and I'll tell people that feel like I don't want to wait so that's kind of funny. Yeah, like that's your thing. I'm like right now I'm snapping snapping with you. I got it. Yeah and with my with my.

[00:51:47] I thought it was funny. I didn't realize I was doing this but I was humming the Jeopardy song like well, I'm in labor dude. Yes. [00:52:00] Yea I'm with you I would do that like during all of my contractions and I remember like my mom and husband kind of laughing and I'm I asked somebody like what were you guys kind of like trying not to laugh about there like you're humming Jeopardy?

[00:52:17] Was that like the last thing you watched on TV that day? I mean that is so Random. I think so because and I don't even really watch much TV, but I do like Jeopardy. Oh, so that was that was kind of funny. Okay now totally random. But all of your trips to Guatemala for your business, do you ever have the opportunity to like interact with like the birthing Community there?

[00:52:49] You don't know why I'm asking you this question, but something is just making me want to ask you that no. No, it's a great question. I actually haven't had a lot of interaction with them just [00:53:00] because I'm usually. Either doing business or just there with you know hanging out with people that I know.

[00:53:06] Yeah, but but I do know that there is a growing community of midwives that are going down there to provide because yeah trip provide, you know better care and service because it's not it's not always great conditions and the hospital's if you're not wealthy that that's very less than. Than anything we're used to so and sadly.

[00:53:33] The C-section rate is really On The Rise because they'll have young mothers coming in there and they don't I don't I don't know why I'm just assuming they don't want to wait for them to labor and they'll give them a C-section and then because of the conditions. That a lot of these hospitals are in these mothers are you know [00:54:00] being sent back to their homes or their Villages and getting infections and then getting sick and they're not getting proper care and it's just not a good situation.

[00:54:09] So it's really encouraging though that a large group of midwives are forming down there. To create some better options that saw think I told you I have a group of friends that recently moved to Guatemala and started a business there with Tony's called torrent Consulting, but the wife Jamie she is a broadly instructor and she's a doula also and so I have this dream in the next you know for my yearly goals is to get down to Guatemala and to meet up with Jay.

[00:54:45] And maybe attend or see some birds in Guatemala. So maybe love will Howard a nature. Yeah, like like a coordinated rip and on the podcast. I just finished in an interview with a [00:55:00] couple Jonathan and Blair. And they were adopting their son from a hospital in California. And right before they had gone to Guatemala and Jonathan is a paramedic and he ended up delivering a baby like on the streets and Guatemala and they lost in the mom was so thankful.

[00:55:26] She named her son Jonathan after him so. That's a bit. Yeah, that's like the greatest honor that they'll give. Yeah, it's really cool. So well Tory, it is been so awesome to hear your stories. And I've just I feel like I just learned so much from you. So okay, but before I let you go I asked everybody the same question.

[00:55:46] Is that when you look back on like raising babies? Do you have like a favorite baby product or like a tool or anything that you definitely would want to share like [00:56:00] make sure you have this in your house or you do this like what is that for you? Yeah, I'm too there's two things that I've always loved.

[00:56:10] I'm probably not the best person to ask this question because I don't like stuff. I don't like gadgets and so I've always never had you know, everyone will have like the chairs and the swings and a monitor and all this stuff. And I don't have any of that shit. So I bet you do a whole lot of babywearing.

[00:56:30] Yep. Exactly. So two things I had with my second daughter. Sorry. I didn't have with my first two daughters and that I had with my third and fourth and I thought it was great. I loved it and it made a big difference was a baby hammock. So instead of a crib or I mean my kids all. Sleep in bed with us.

[00:56:52] Anyways, that's a whole nother story and everyone has opinions on it. I'm sure but so we always costly but when they were [00:57:00] little I had a baby hammock that you suspend from the ceiling and you can have it like next to your bed or over your bed. I had it over the foot of my bed, and then I would during the night.

[00:57:14] Like lay our daughters in it the last two anyways, and that's where she would sleep and then if she would start to wake up or whatever. You can just like kind of. Nudge them with your foot and I want to say kick your baby. But you just give them a little push and it swings and it like whilst Rock them back to sleep.

[00:57:33] And so I thought that that was really cool. I loved having the hammock so cool. It happened to know. I'll put it in the show notes because I've never heard of this before. Do you happen to know the company or what the name of it is? It's fine. I think Turtle it. It started with a z i want to say like.

[00:57:50] Zur are Zulu or I can't remember I ordered it from I ordered it online somewhere. I don't think it's very common in America to have [00:58:00] that and I haven't known anyone else that's ever have. Yeah, but so me and I'll find it and I'll put it in the show notes at the end of this. So yeah, so it was I loved having that and I felt like my daughter slept really great in it and then a sling.

[00:58:14] I have been wearing my daughter's in a sling a ring sling, you know from my first one up until now and I wear them in there till they're like three years old and that's how I get everything done. That's how I can work with my kids. They will sleep on me. You can nurse them in it. You can go about your day.

[00:58:35] I can go and work in my office. I can have meetings everything. I will not go anywhere without a ring sling. Baby, I am so special like I mean, I cannot tell you how many times I like vacuumed and cleaned my entire house because you have both your arms free and yet your baby is so happy on us, you know, like our babies want to be on us.

[00:58:59] So [00:59:00] that's all my kids would sleep better in there. They nurse gray. That's how I got through college typing papers. That's how I run a business. I've done it all with a baby strapped to me. All right. So before we go tell us just a little bit more about your business how people find you how I mean I already mentioned they could go listen to The Rise podcast and hear your whole story, but tell everybody how to find you and how to look up and buy these gorgeous bags that you're making from Guatemala.

[00:59:37] Yeah, so you can check out the podcast and my website is e she'll triangle.com you shall we already talked about her but it's ixc. Triangle doesn't it doesn't look like it sounds but that's how you spell it. And we're on now. You can check out our website where on social media [01:00:00] Instagram as each shell triangle.

[01:00:03] You can connect that way if you are in the Redlands area, which is Southern California, we have our shop down there. So you guys stop by. I love meeting people in person and connecting that way, but if you're not, you know hop on the internet. There because now everybody knows everything about you.

[01:00:23] Yeah, thank you for cussing. I'm like, thank you for cussing because I say bad words all day long. It just makes me feel better when other people costs especially in labor. I love it when moms just like Let It Go and their labor so Tory, it's been awesome having you on. I'm so excited to tell you about my first book that I wrote that is launching.

[01:00:49] This summer is a 42 week guide to your pregnancy. It's a collection of birth stories. It has a ton of dual advice from [01:01:00] all of the questions that my clients have asked me over the last 14 years. It has hysterical partner tips that you will want to read to your partner and it has journaling. Because nobody has time to write a 20 pages in their Journal about their pregnancy.

[01:01:15] So I've taken the Liberty to give you some prompts of things that I think you might want to remember back on after the baby's born. So again, you can go to burst or e.com and pre-order a copy today and it would mean the world to me.

[01:01:37] Thank you for listening to birth story. My goal is you will walk away from each episode with a clearer picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth. You want no matter what that looks like.

[01:02:00] [01:02:03] Thanks again for listening. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram with a handle at Birth story podcast.